Archive for October, 2005

Even Demons Get Thirsty

Demons out for blood menacingly roam the streets, howling and spitting fire — all while delicately cradling bottles of Evian. Hey, Hell is hot! Nothing like designer water to keep the respectable demon pitchfork-jabbing baddies overtime. Or, in the case of Dominican city La Vega at Carnival, whipping standers-by with reinforced cow bladders. Heck, one costumed faction even has a device for making sure their booty slapping meets quality standards:

The Rebels had created what may be the first machine in history to measure how hard you can swing a dried bladder. The test-of-strength gadget, called a vejig?metro, or bladder-meter, looks like a cannon. Wind up and bash the back end with your handy cow-bladder whip, and out flies a ball. The farther it goes, the stronger you are. Or, put another way, the more pain you would have inflicted on somebody’s rear end. Seth Kugel

The gorgeous costumes and quality partying looks to make getting smacked a few times worthwhile, though. More excellent costume shots and sounds to go with them can be found in the times slideshow.

Ribbit

Gungan king Boss Nass NBA king David Stern

From the instant I saw NBA Comissioner David Stern’s big head plastered across ESPN.com, I couldn’t stop thinking “frog.” There’s just something about his wide mouth, broad lips, and bugged out eyes that sets the amphibian neuron firing. Can’t you see him thoughtlessly croaking and sucking down a stray fly or two? Plus, frogs are slimy and the slime has gotten a bit thick in the comissioner’s chair of late, too.

So, who better to compare the annoying king of the NBA to than annoying king frogman Boss Nass, buddy of the much (un)loved Jar Jar Binks. They look alike and they both blow. While it’s tough to say if the Stern’s new pro ball dress code is right or wrong, his timing couldn’t have been more obnoxious. When everyone should be focusing on the game at the start of a promising new season, instead we’re all talking about who? Yep, all eyes are on attention-monger Dave Stern. And you can bet he’s back at his pad laughing like a Gungan.

images grabbed from espn, bosspics, and starwars.com

Travolta the Terrible

Khomeini, Brezhnev, Yamani, Travolta. The villainous four. John’s crew has come a long way from the unassuming Kotter kids, hasn’t it?

These postcards were unearthed in a Chelsea poster shop, but nobody there seemed to have an explanation for the juxtaposition of images or the words “dette vidste du ikke” at the head of each one. Could Travolta’s inclusion be a nod to his stint as evil overlord Terl in the fantastically awful Battlefield Earth? Who knows. Anyone who speaks Danish want to shed some light?

photo via jellisvga


Rappers are in Danger

Underground. It’s been hard to use that term to describe indie rapper MF Doom (Daniel Dumile) since news spread of his collaboration with Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim crew and DJ Dangermouse (whose famously unreleased Grey Album was ranked best of 2004 by the desperately unhip Entertainment Weekly). We needn’t have worried, though. His new album, which hits the ground today, remains clever, original stuff.

This isn’t Dumile’s most experimental record but his flows are no less creative for it. In fact, with beats more accessible than Madvillainy and more laughs than MM..Food, this could be the record that introduces Dumile to the mainstream for the first time since the KMD days. Dangerdoom stands as proof that rap can be cerebral, entertaining, and ready for the masses without ever mentioning a gat or a ho. Bottom-feeding record execs take note.

For the full Doom backstory, see Wikipedia. Tons of recent press and interviews are available via Stones Throw. Find more on the album proper at dangerdoom.com

image grabbed from wired, with apologies to krs

Bedtime for Bush

Incestuous hiring in Washington is nothing new, but Bush sure seems bent on pushing the envelope. From corporate pocket cabinet to his freakish UN ambassador to his clueless FEMA chief, GW has proven he knows how to keep his good ‘ol boy buddies happy regardless of the cost to everyone else. So, it makes sense that he would nominate yet another of his cronies to be a supreme court justice. And one who has no judicial experience, at that. Why not a more qualified woman? Could it be that Bush simply doesn’t know that many folks of the female persuasion? Perish the thought.

Just goes to show that actual job-relevant experience is nothing compared to being in the sack with Bush himself. Somehow, the rotationally enhanced photo at right seems apropos, no?

Point in fairness: Rehnquist never sat on the bench before joining the Supremes, either. And that turned out great!

image grabbed from bbc news




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