Archive for the 'Wack' Category Page 2 of 3



Of Innovation and Outhouses

Is there some irony in the fact that IBM’s US front page features a discussion about the future of innovation in America alongside a guy taking a rocket-powered dump?

While there’s no doubt IBM has done a bunch of good stuff lately, I just couldn’t let the mixed message slide. Giggles trump integrity every time.

image grabbed from ibm.com

Smorkin’ Panda

Smorkin' Panda         Smorkin' Labbit

After weeks of being accessible only via webcam, mini-panda Tai Shan got his close up yesterday and, with it, a certain affinity for smoked substances was revealed. Okay, it’s just bamboo. Still, you can’t blame me if Frank Kozik’s Smorkin’ Labbit popped to mind, right? Right??

Wanna kill your productivity? Visit the live National Zoo panda cam and time instantly evaporates (mirrored at discovery.com). Or peek at San Diego’s month-younger panda cub Su Lin via sandiegozoo.org. Lastly, one can never get enough Tarepanda.

images grabbed from kidrobot and cnn

Even Demons Get Thirsty

Demons out for blood menacingly roam the streets, howling and spitting fire — all while delicately cradling bottles of Evian. Hey, Hell is hot! Nothing like designer water to keep the respectable demon pitchfork-jabbing baddies overtime. Or, in the case of Dominican city La Vega at Carnival, whipping standers-by with reinforced cow bladders. Heck, one costumed faction even has a device for making sure their booty slapping meets quality standards:

The Rebels had created what may be the first machine in history to measure how hard you can swing a dried bladder. The test-of-strength gadget, called a vejig?metro, or bladder-meter, looks like a cannon. Wind up and bash the back end with your handy cow-bladder whip, and out flies a ball. The farther it goes, the stronger you are. Or, put another way, the more pain you would have inflicted on somebody’s rear end. Seth Kugel

The gorgeous costumes and quality partying looks to make getting smacked a few times worthwhile, though. More excellent costume shots and sounds to go with them can be found in the times slideshow.

Dumbvee

Not everyone can get a Humvee for their 18th birthday, right? This baby’ll keep you covered until you’ve got four years of college tuition to piss away on the full-fledged petrol-inhaling air-quality-destoyah! Rock on. Hell, if you meet a hot chick (who doesn’t happen to know you still live with your parents), you might even be able to fool her into thinking you drive the real thing with the blatantly branded car alarm remote cum boombox remote. That’ll buy you some time to find an explanation for the Griswold Family Truckster you’ve got out in the parking lot.

You gotta wonder which is worse: polluting the planet for your own vanity with an SUV or just desperately pretending to. I suppose the first is evil and pathetic while the second is just double on the pathetic. Call it even, then.

Footnote: Hummers suck, but their ads are wicked hot.

images grabbed from bestbuy.com

One Pissy Cloud

Shuttle landing scuttled by a single ornery cloud? A suspicious bomb on trial — was it acting alone? You’ve gotta work hard to find much humor in the headlines these days but, chopping up titles to save space on the front page, some overeager BBC web staff inadvertently gave us a couple reasons to giggle this afternoon.

image capped from bbc news: world

Double Agent

 

Is it me or does the scumbag Klansman on the left look pretty much identical to the spastic Six Flags guy? Straight down to the suit and glasses. Is it the same person? Disturbing. Somehow those Mr. Six spots don’t quite set my heart aflutter like they used to.

images grabbed from cnn and sixflags

Crane Technique

Carl says hi

What is the attraction of Atlanta construction equipment to mentally unstable people? On Wednesday, for instance, Carl Roland (age 41) drove all the way from Florida just to climb a crane in the upscale Atlanta neighborhood of Buckhead after killing his girlfriend back home. A police spokesman refused to release the man’s identity saying: “I don’t want to give this guy any notoriety. I don’t want any copycats.”

It seems the Atlanta police have forgotten 23-year-old Mike Kelly. Back in 2001, Mike scaled a different crane in Buckhead and hanged himself after a nearly 24 hour standoff with police. You’d think that would be pretty memorable but whatever.

The difference now is that Carl is almost twice the age of Mike, his crane is 4 stories higher, and he’s held police at bay for over 48 hours. Plus, Mike was just crazy — Carl is crazy and homicidal. Sounds like a new record in every dimension, doesn’t it?

This is not to say that the only people to partake of perilously perched police-pacifying encounters in Atlanta are maniacs, though. In 1999, Atlanta’s Cotton Mill Lofts burst into flame trapping a construction worker on you-guessed-it a construction crane. He was stuck for only a few hours before a helicopter grabbed him.

With each passing year, then, we’re seeing increasingly disturbed people put together longer engagements with police atop ever higher Atlanta cranes. Once they get Carl down, then, the only question left will be who can top him? Oh, and how long before that tool David Blaine gets involved.

image grabbed from ajc.com

Paraphernalia Included

We all know Donkey Kong Jungle Beat is a great party game, but it’s not been clear just how great until a recently — when a promotion at the Union Square Circuit City promised the inclusion of a bong with every copy. Now that’s service! So much for Nintendo’s kiddy image.

photo via jellisvga

France and England Sittin’ in a Tree

chirac-blair.jpg Chirac’s fi’na bitchslap somebody! Can you blame him? Blair had so much promise and pissed it all away to impress his boy Bush. So, does this bout of smacky-face mean they won’t be going for drinks?

image grabbed from the times

Viagross

viagra-hes-back.jpg

Is it me or is the new Viagra ad more than a little disturbing? I don’t know if it’s the logo forming devil horns or just feeling sorry for the poor wife after seeing his expression but, man, that spot produces major queasiness. I’m just trying to watch a little baseball here — some restraint please? :-(

It doesn’t help these products have miles of warnings that create unwanted mental images. For instance, this gem: “Patients who experience erections lasting 4 hours or more should be instructed to seek immediate medical assistance.” Did you really need your mind’s eye visualizing that? Didn’t think so…

Feeling masochistic? Check out the full ad at viagra.com (windows media) and revisit Bob Dole’s stint hawking and popping pep pills.





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